Fear of Happiness
Introduction:
There are a number of ways you can look at the fear of happiness. Some may think it's a byproduct of depression. Others may feel it's a byproduct of not believing happiness is possible. I believe it has to do with two aspects of yourself you may not even be aware of.
I believe the fear of happiness comes from a failure to maintain happiness once you've found it. The second reason is the self-sabotage of happiness which makes you try to avoid it. After all, why would anyone want to open their heart, feel the joy and then go through the shock, despair and pain when you lose it?
It's only natural to want to avoid pain.
The easiest thing to do is to create a series of inner and outer barriers. Stop happiness cold in it's tracks before it can play it's familiar game: Joy followed by pain. So, over time, you close yourself off to opportunities which shrinks your world and your life down to a much more easily controlled series of predictable events.
The problem with those events is that they become passion-less!
Your fear of happiness actually sets up your life to prevent any relationship, thing or experience, which has the potential for happiness, from even showing up on your radar screen. After a while, you don't recognize it (the potential to be happy) even if it's staring you right in the face! You can't because you've tuned out your joy.
Look, having a healthy skepticism about relationships, things and experiences is not a bad thing. Halting anything new in your life because you absolutely will not allow yourself to feel joy does nothing but kill your spirit. It turns your life into an empty shell. You don't feel connected to anything or anybody because being connected means you have to take a risk ...of pain.
Fear of happiness erases all hope from your life
What is hope if not the anticipation of joy? To be afraid to take the necessary risk in order to find happiness is a self defeating, selfish thing to do! Life is made up of a wave-like journey. On the top of that wave is bliss. When the wave bottoms out, you're depressed and empty. The idea is to find a point of balance between the two extremes that gives meaning to your life.
You are never going to be happy all the time. You are going to have your ups and downs. Life is a series of ebbs and tides. Each has it's unique way of enabling us to grow and learn from the experience. Avoid anything that can bring you joy and happiness and you have barricaded yourself from all the tides...all the good stuff.
To Article: "Fear of Happiness" (part one)
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